Friday, June 3, 2011

Mirror, Mirror on the wall.....

Who's the fairest of them all?? When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? If you are like most women and girls, it's not often a very positive reflection. I'm always reminded of this scene in mean girls where they take turns finding the flaws they hate the most about themselves.

The sad part is that when we do this we believe it and it begins to wear down on our self esteem. I feel that there is a huge lack in empowering our young girls to be confident today. I see it in stories about bullying on facebook or in school. Teenage suicides are on the rise due to non acceptance amongst their peers. It hurts my heart to know that a promising child ended their life because no one would accept them as they were, but more importantly they didn't have the confidence to say who cares? I find there is an epidemic of low self esteem and confidence in today's youth, especially amongst girls. However, I see it also in Women, women who for all intents and purposes are put together but look in that mirror and instead of saying I am the fairest of them all, they say I wish I were 10 pounds skinnier, my nose is too big, my boobs are too small.

So Dirty Bombshells, we not only strive to improve the outside, we strive to improve the inside. Reality is if you feel good about yourself, you will be happier in life, and being happy about yourself has very little to do with how the outside looks. Inner beauty or confidence is the most difficult to maintain, it is a constant struggle for me personally to look in that mirror and believe that what is standing in front of me is perfect just the way it is.

If you have daughters it's especially important to know that how you reflect upon yourself is picked up by your daughter. If you constantly say that you have fat thighs, have fat arms, hate your hair, etc, it is more likely your daughter will pick up your low self esteem habits...check out these staggering facts from Dove.

62% of all girls feel insecure or not sure of themselves
57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks--- Moms! It starts with you!
Parents’ words and actions play a pivotal role fostering positive self-esteem in girls
    • Girls with low self-esteem are less likely to receive praise from either parent and more likely to receive criticism than girls with high self-esteem
So? How do we start to empower ourselves you say? Well it's definitely gonna take some work and like most everything else -commitment. Remember you didn't learn to put your make up on in one day either, its gonna take practice. This week we'll start with the concept of Cognitive Behavior therapy. Big words, but easy enough to do. In a nutshell you are gonna be conscious of your bad compliments to yourself and you are going to ask why it is you are saying them. Take this example by Catherine Price on how to modify your mood..

Identify your thoughts. I hate my hair; my clothes look stupid; I'm pathetic.

Then focus on the most emotionally charged hot thought: I'm pathetic.

List evidence for the hot thought. I don't have a regular paycheck; my hair is too thin.

List evidence against it. I love my career and I'm good at it; my self-worth isn't based on my appearance.

Reevaluate. Instead of overreacting, I can splurge on a good cut, or remind myself that it's just hair!

Another thing I like to do is to look in the mirror and give a compliment to what you hate the most. So if you hate your hair, you will look in the mirror and find something you like about it...I have beautiful hair even though its frizzy all the time, I have beautiful curls.
You will say this every morning until one morning you find you don't need to. It sounds like a silly exercise, but I promise the better you get at embracing the flaws, the better you get at being confident.

So Bombshells heres to embracing being different and imperfect. Compliment yourself today and believe it. Even more importantly share with each other the ways that make girls empowering! I leave you with Beyonce's girl video....Girls run the world! and we can!

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