Tuesday, April 20, 2010


If most of you are like me, you look forward to the makeover episode on America's next top model. Not because you want to see how different the girls will look or how pretty they turn out, but who will cry because they are getting their hair chopped off. This sounds sinister but the reality is that most of women can relate.

Hair and our attachment to it is not like anything else we have. We can change our clothes, we can gain and lose weight, but our hair carries emotion, and attachments, emotions that sometimes we didn't even know were there.
It takes a long time to grow out our hair, and in that time we experience life. We meet the man of our dreams, we lose him too. We get that great job! and then it disappoints us.....Sometimes were ready for the change, cut off that hair! But even if we're ready, it's still emotions you are letting go of.

Or if you're like me, sometimes fate steps in for you. I remember the first time I cut my hair that was not by choice. I had gone in for a regular trim on hair that was past the middle of my back. The hairdresser left my hair looking like a very bad mullet and the only way to fix it was to chop it off. I think I cried for a week...I'd never had short hair, I hadn't the slightest clue on what to do with it and I thought I looked like an ugly boy. I was in high school just about to graduate and life had brought me the typical teenage angst...and here i was ready to step into a new life with ugly short hair.

Little did I know that my accidental haircut was just what I needed....I had no choice but to get used to my short little do and that is exactly what I did. I grew to love it, so much so that I went to get it cut shorter. I felt free and daring....and that hair led me to places I would have never gone to and to do things I would have never dreamed of with my long hair.

It eventually grew out and it went from brown to red to light brown to a place where I felt the darkest in my life. I was in a bad relationship where I didn't feel pretty or special or noticed. Needless to say I dyed my hair black...unconsciously. I actually loved it at the time, which should come as no surprise as what I saw in my reflection was how I felt on the inside. Time passed and I got rid of the stupid boy and my hair got lighter, as I felt happier.....it got lighter and blonder, until I was at a point where I was happiest in my life, As a blonde.

So it may come to a surprise to some that it was quite difficult for me to dye my hair back to brown. Brown signified to me a dark unhappy place and I wasn't any of those things anymore. While I was looking for change I didn't know if I was gonna be able to go through with it, but I did.

I cried....I cried because when I looked in that mirror that wasn't me, it was the old me, the unhappy me. But then the most amazing thing happened...I realized it wasn't. That after a second glance it was still happy go lucky blonde me, I just had a really sexy dark hair color on and that after second and third glances...I loved it!

So now when I watch America's Next Top Model and I watch the model cry I empathize with her. It may appear that's she's crying over the hair but its so much more than that.

I realize change is hard, but change is good. It forces you to look back at moments in life and rewrite them for the better. Brown hair is no longer bad for me, its great! and I always remind myself that if I really hate my hair, that's what hair color and hair extensions are for!!! ;)

Live beautifully,
Monica xoxo

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